Inhibitions Anonymous Episode 1: The Pilot

This is the first attempt at Inhibitions Anonymous, a sitcom idea I started co-developing with a friend. Our styles clashed and I found that I couldnt work with her. This pilot episode was written while trying to appease her. I was not happy with the final result, but there are bits that are amusing, and perhaps feed back will help me with a later reworking of this story… also unfortunately because of creative differences the actual main stories werent even introduced in this. Regardless I hope you enjoy.

TEASER

FADE IN:

INT. AARON CAMPBELL’S BASEMENT – DUSK

The walls are painted white, with wood boarding going up half way. There are two windows; two chairs with a table between them sit under the two windows.

Across from them is a couch, which is where AARON CAMPBELL is sitting, gently nibbling his index fingernail. Adjacent to the chairs and couch is a pool table, which is nearly in front of the stairs.

MINA REYNOLDS-THRACE sits in the chair closest to the pool table.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Today isn’t just like every other day, today is the last day of the year.  This is Aaron Campbell, an aspiring writer.

TITLE: Aaron Campbell (Aspiring Writer)

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And this is Mina Reynolds-Thrace, also an aspiring writer.

TITLE: Mina Reynolds-Thrace (Also Aspiring Writer)

NARRATOR (V.O.)
They are very close and on this day they’re going to their friend’s house for a new years party.

AARON
You’ll never guess what my Dad gave me today.

MINA
A blowjob?

AARON
No, but close.  He just walked up to me and handed me a condom.  I mean what the fuck?  It was just random.  I mean it raises a whole bunch of questions, like where did it come from? Did he pull it out of a hat?  Was it a rabbit?  And why the hell did he have a condom?

MINA
You should have asked.

AARON
I did. He said that it’s old.  I didn’t really want to ask how old, but he looked at the expiry date and it was October of 2010, and that utterly shocked him.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
In fact the condom was most likely bought in the eighties.

AARON
So yeah.  Oh and then he asked me if I wanted coffee afterwards.

MINA
Wow.  That’s, that’s… rather creepy.

AARON
Yeah it was.  I’m such a virgin, I just want someone to be with, not even sexually, just some sort of action.  Aaron horny.

MINA
I really hope your Dad isn’t included in there.

AARON
That would be gross.  What time is Linsay’s party at?

Mina checks her watch.

MINA
It’s at eight, so in like fifteen minutes

AARON
Oh ok, so we should head out now, we still have to pick up Damian and Charlie.

MINA
Yeah.  Aaron, you want to know something funny?

AARON
You had sex with Luke? Oh wait you said funny… oh…

Mina falls over laughing.

CUT TO:

Text on the screen with a black background reading ‘Inhibitions Anonymous’.

END OF TEASER

ACT I

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE – A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Mina’s van enters the driveway and moves to the parking spaces at the back of the house.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
A little while later, they arrived at the Bond residence where their host was going to greet them.

Mina, Aaron, DAMIAN, and CHARLIE exit Mina’s van, and up above on the railingless balcony stands their friend and host LINSAY J BOND.

LINSAY
Hey guys!

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The man standing on the dangerously incomplete balcony is Linsay J Bond.

TITLE: Linsay J. Bond (Not British)

NARRATOR (V.O.)
When he was born, his parents had an argument over what he should be named.  His mother had always wanted a girl and thus wanted to name their son Linsay.  Eventually they reached a compromise and his father picked his middle name, both of which he found embarrassing.

AARON, CHARLIE, MINA
Hey Linsay!

DAMIAN
(same time as others)
Hey J!

NARRATOR (V.O.)
This Gaius Baltar look-alike’s name is Damian Driessen.  He and Aaron have been close friends for nearly a decade.

TITLE: Damian Driessen (Also Not British)

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And the guy next to him is Charlie Le Guin.  He has anger issues.

TITLE: Charlie Le Guin (Really Not British)

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And thus the party would begin.

LINSAY
Aaron!  Are you wearing a woman’s headband?

AARON
(says cautiously)
Yeah!

CUT TO:

INT. AARON CAMPBELL’S BASEMENT – EARLIER

TITLE: Earlier

CALLY DILUCA takes her headband off and places it on Aaron’s head

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Earlier that day a friend had placed her headband on Aaron’s head.  He secretly likes wearing it.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

AARON
Cally put it on me earlier.  It’s not like I would put one on myself or anything…

Mina rolls her eyes.

LINSAY
Ok, whatever, just come on in, everyone’s already here.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And with that, Linsay J Bond left his balcony of wonder and returned to the land inside his home.

Damian, Mina, Charlie and Aaron walk from the car to the door.

DAMIAN
He may have been on a balcony, but I’m still sexier than him… right?

MINA
Of course you are Damian.

CHARLIE
Oh yeah man, you’re the sexiest one around.

Charlie laughs.

AARON
I’d bone you.

DAMIAN
(scared)
I know you would…

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

The third floor of the Bond House is unfinished looking, with the walls, floor and ceiling all looking the same, all looking unpolished.

On the far side of the room is a bar and in front of that is a couch. To the left of the couch is the chair, and in front of all this furniture is a big Widescreen Television.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Everyone had already arrived, and they were all on the mystical third floor.

Mina, Damian, Charlie, and Aaron are walking up the stairs to the third floor.  And they go around a corner and see everyone.

LUKE
About time you guys got here.

Mina walks over and sits in his lap while talking.

MINA
Sorry we were late, Damian took forever, and it was tempting to run Charlie over. I know I’ll do it one of these days, and it wont be an accident.

Mina giggles.

CUT TO:

EXT.  THE LE GUIN HOUSE – EARLIER

TITLE: Earlier

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Unbeknownst to him, she actually had attempted to run him over.

Mina is driving for Charlie but zooms past him.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
She was unsuccessful.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The man with Mina in his lap is Luke Anderson Williams, her boyfriend.  He’s also commonly referred to as The Law.

TITLE: The Law (Not Above)

LUKE
Aaron, what are you wearing?!

CALLY
Don’t make fun of him.  You look very pretty Aaron.

Aaron blushes.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The girl behind the air hockey table is Cally Diluca, owner of the headband.

TITLE: Cally Diluca (Giver Of Headbands)

AARON
I thought so.  I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.

Mina and Damian stare at Aaron.

AARON
I’m not going to finish that…

DAMIAN
I’m not going to finish you!

JAMIE
What does that even mean?!

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And finally, this is Jamie River, Linsay J Bond’s girlfriend.  She is insane.

TITLE: Jamie River (Bond Girl)

LINSAY
Darlin, I think it means that he’s decided not to finish sodomizing him.

AARON
Aww, I’m disappointed Dame Dame.

DAMIAN
Please never call me that again.

Damian walks towards the fridge behind the bar to get a pop.

Aaron grabs a bar stool and places it next to Mina and Luke’s chair and sits down.

AARON
I can’t guarantee anything.  It might just slip out occasionally.

DAMIAN
Oh well, it’s the best I can hope for.

LINSAY
Who wants to play body boggle?

CHARLIE
Did you just say body boggle?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He in fact had said body boggle.  It’s like twister with words.

LINSAY
(overpowered by Narrator)
Yes.  It’s like twister with words.

CHARLIE
Why don’t we just play twister then?

LINSAY
Cause… Cause then it wouldn’t have words.

Charlie walks over and sits in front of the footstool, which Luke and Mina are using.

Jamie walks over and sits on the edge of Luke and Mina’s chair.

Jamie pats her leg and Mina moves over and sits in Jamie’s lap.

Aaron is watching them as they do this

MINA
Hello sexy.

Aaron looks over at Charlie and walks towards him.  Aaron sits in Charlie’s lap.  Charlie punches Aaron in the face.

FADE OUT:

END ACT I

ACT II

FADE IN:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

Aaron is over by the fridge behind the bar getting ice.

Jamie and Cally are playing body boggle.  Linsay is shouting out the words to them.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Aaron was off getting ice for his swelling face, when suddenly Mina’s cell phone began to ring.

Mina’s cell phone rings over on the bar.

MINA
Aaron!  Could you be a doll and get that for me.

DAMIAN (O.S.)
(angrily then trailing off)
Could you be my doll…

AARON
Hai, hai.

Aaron picks up Mina’s cell phone and brings it to her.

CHARLIE (O.S.)
Why body boggle?

LINSAY (O.S.)
But body boggle is the shiz.

MINA
Hello?  Oh one minute, I’m going to put you on speaker phone.

CHARLIE (O.S.)
Did you just say shiz?

Mina presses a button on her cell phone.

MINA
Kay, there you go.  Talk.

PATRICIA (V.O.)
Oh my god, people!

EVERYONE
Hi Patricia!

PATRICIA (V.O.)
Oh… What? Too many voices!

CUT TO:

PHOTO: Patricia in a stripper cop outfit.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The crazy woman in the cop outfit is their long time friend Patricia Bateman who recently moved away.

TITLE: Patricia Bateman (Not American)

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

PATRICIA (V.O.)
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
She had moved to attend a University many hours away.

MINA
That’s ok, so far you’ve only missed Linsay and Charlie argue about body boggle.

PATRICIA (V.O.)
Isn’t that just twister with words?

DAMIAN
You’re just twister with words!

MINA
Also Charlie punched Aaron.

AARON (O.S.)
You said you’d protect me, that you’d be my condom!

PATRICIA (V.O.)
Wow.  Anyways, sorry but I’ve got to get going now

AARON (O.S.)
Well that condom broke!

MINA
Bye Patricia!

LINSAY
Eighteen!

Cally and Jamie move to make the word

CALLY
How do you… never mind.

JAMIE
Cally! Were you just about to ask what I think you were?

CALLY
Never!

One falls on top of the other.

LINSAY
You lose.

JAMIE
I lose! Woo hoo!

DAMIAN
I’m bored.

CALLY
I’m dead… ugh!

Cally falls on her back.

AARON
(Looks intrigued)
Dead?

Aaron runs to Cally and grabs her legs.

CALLY
No! No! I didn’t mean dead! I live! I live! I live!

Mina’s cell phone rings, and she answers it.  Cally stands up.

MINA (O.S.)
Hello. Oh hey, what ya up to?  Are you coming?

CALLY
Well that was fun.

CHARLIE
We should have played twister.

LINSAY
That doesn’t have words!

Damian walks up behind Aaron who is sitting on the barstool and slaps his face where he was punched.

AARON
Fuck!

DAMIAN
So I hear your dad randomly gave you a condom today?

AARON
Yep, and he offered me coffee afterwards.

DAMIAN
Well, I guess that’s the only way it’ll get used.

Damian walks away from him.

CALLY
Who wants to play Strip Go-Fish?

AARON
Only if you get me more ice.

NINJA runs from the stairs screaming, around the couch and people and runs onto the balcony.

Everyone remains silent and looks at one another.  Linsay leans over to look out of the open door.

LINSAY
He’s gone…

MINA
Was that your brother?

LINSAY
I hope not. That’s a long fall.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
It is a long fall and would have killed the average person, but Linsay’s brother used his expert ninja techniques to safely land, like a cat.

LINSAY
Who wants to go hunting for him?

MINA
Oh oh oh, I want to!

CALLY
(sad)
Then, then who’s going to play Strip Go-Fish with me?

AARON
Don’t worry Cally, I will.

DAMIAN
(grand Gimli voice)
As will I!

JAMIE
I don’t want to go outside.  It’s cold and um… what’s the word to describe it?

AARON
Resident Evil like?

JAMIE
That’s it!

DAMIAN
That’s more than one word.

CUT TO:

INT. SECOND FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – A MINUTE LATER

Mina, Luke, Linsay, and Charlie are all in Ninja’s room picking out weapons to hunt him with.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And so they went into Linsay’s brothers room to obtain weapons.

Mina stares excitingly at a sword.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Mina was especially excited.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And so they were ready and armed, Linsay had acquired the flashlights on his way out the door.

They are all standing around at the end of the driveway, where the grass of the backyard begins.

LINSAY
Now everyone be careful, we want to take my potentially injured brother alive, so don’t hit him too hard with the swords… Mina…

MINA
I would never get carried away… never…

LUKE
Yes you would.

MINA
(looks down at her feet)
Yeah I would…

LINSAY
Ok, so lets go Ninja hunting.

Linsay pulls out a gun from his back pocket and fires it into the air.

Charlie runs away, down the driveway

CHARLIE (O.S.)
(screams)
Oh my god, he’s going to kill me!

LINSAY
(whimpers)
It’s, it’s not real…

NARRATOR (V.O.)
In fact it was a cap gun, there was no bullet involved whatsoever.

MINA
(sarcastic)
Wow, you’re like a regular… um… Jack Bauer now.

LINSAY
Yeah, Jack Bauer.  Anyways…

He turned around and they followed him into the garden area.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And the hunt for his brother began.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
As had the game of Strip Go-Fish inside the house.

AARON
Umm… Damian! Do you have a queen?

DAMIAN
Besides you?

AARON
Shit.

Aaron removes his socks.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE BACKYARD/GARDEN – NIGHT

Luke and Mina walk together, Mina with sword in hand and Luke with a cap gun.

LUKE
(whispers)
Where do you think he could be?

MINA
(whispers)
I don’t know. All I know is I have a sword… a sword… hee hee hee

LUKE
(whispers)
Remind me to keep you away from sharp objects.

MINA
(whispers)
Why? Is it against The Law?

Luke laughs and kisses Mina.

NINJA (O.S.)
(yelling)
Coocookacha! Coocookacha!

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

Damian and Jamie have all their clothes on, Cally is missing her socks.

Aaron stares at his cards intently. He looks up at the other players and looks around cautiously.

AARON
Do you have a Jack… Jamie.

JAMIE
No, but you do.

AARON
(stoic)
I’m not gay.

Aaron slowly removes his shirt while giving Jamie evil eyes.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE BACKYARD – NIGHT

NINJA
Coocookacha! Coocookacha!

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Linsay’s brother had decided to cloak himself in the surroundings.

The camera zooms out and he’s holding foliage in front of himself while perched in a tree.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He had also decided to mask his sound so started a birdcall.

Linsay walks by, right underneath Ninja.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He was very elusive.

NINJA
Coocookacha! Coocooka-

LINSAY
(points gun and yells)
I found him!

Ninja kicks the gun out of Linsay’s hand and it goes off, jumps out of the tree and begins running while still holding the foliage for cover.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE BACKYARD/GARDEN – NIGHT

Mina and Luke cease making out when they hear a gun shot.

MINA
Someone’s taking the law into their own hands!

LUKE
(evil eyed)
That someone better be you.

Mina and Luke run towards Linsay and Ninja fighting.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE BACKYARD – NIGHT

Linsay and Ninja are fighting to get to the cap gun.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The hunt for his brother was over, and what appeared to be rape was in actuality a battle for the fake gun.

Mina and Luke arrive at the fight scene.

MINA
Get him Linsay! Rape that ass!  Go for it!

A car’s headlights shine from the driveway, and it parks. The occupant gets out and shuts the door.

MINA
Oh she’s here! I was wondering if she was going to show up.

LINSAY
(choking from Ninja’s arm around his throat)
Who’s it?

MINA
It’s Mandy.

LINSAY
(choking)
Oh… shit…

MINA
Don’t worry, she wont be as depressing as last time.

LINSAY
(choking)
I hope not.

NINJA
Coocookacha!

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

On the television is one of the various commercial new years programs with the UNDEAD NEW YEARS HOST.

AARON (O.S.)
Cally, do you have an ace?

CALLY (O.S.)
Only in my pants… And I’m not wearing those right now.

JAMIE
(laughs)
You’re going to lose!  Cally, do you have an ace?

CALLY (O.S.)
He just asked that…

JAMIE
Fuck!

The door at the bottom of the stairs opens.

JAMIE
(loud)
Who’s there?!

MANDY SERKOV walks up the stairs, the camera pans around her and you see Damian wearing Cally’s clothes. Cally wearing Damian’s.

Aaron is down to his boxers with his pants half off.  Jamie is only missing her socks.

Mandy’s face looks scared

Jamie grabs a pillow and puts it in front of her body while she screams

JAMIE
(screaming)
Aaaaaaaa! Don’t look at my naked body!

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT II

ACT III

FADE IN:

INT.  THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

Mandy stands beside the television in shock.

Cally, Damian, Aaron and Jamie stare back at Mandy in similar shock.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
This woman is Mandy Serkov, a Wiccan, and she had inadvertently walked in on these four during a game of Strip Go-Fish.  The game had now become awkward.

TITLE: Mandy Serkov (Unburned)

AARON
This is awkward.

JAMIE
Oh god, you know what awkward silences mean with him.

Aaron begins to pull up his pants.

AARON
They make me touch myself.

DAMIAN
And it would have been easy since he already had his pants off.

MANDY
Oh my god, we’re lucky that’s the only thing he got off.

AARON
I almost got you off?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Aaron and Mandy had a brief history. Brief meaning one date a year previous.

MANDY
No! You sick freak.  I meant yourself!

AARON
You got me excited for a moment.

MANDY
Aaron, stop being creepy!

AARON
I can’t help it. It’s in my nature.

MANDY
Where is everyone?

A gunshot is heard coming from outside.

MANDY
Was that a gunshot?!

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE BACKYARD – Moments Earlier

NARRATOR (V.O.)
It was indeed a gunshot she had heard. His brother went down easily.

TITLE: Moments Earlier

Linsay gets the cap gun, turns around and pulls the trigger while it’s pointed at Ninja.

Ninja looks at him with a look of confusion then Mina hits him over the head with her sword and he falls unconscious.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

JAMIE
Yeah that was a gunshot. Linsay probably shot his brother again.

Mandy walks over to a seat and sits down while talking

MANDY
Oh ok. So what have I missed?

DAMIAN
Basically Charlie punching Aaron.

MANDY
Aww, I can’t believe I missed that

AARON
(pointing at Damian)
And that jackass slapped me where I was punched.

DAMIAN
I slapped you cause I like to inflict pain on you.

AARON
Not because you love me?

DAMIAN
Not because I love you.

AARON
(sad)
Aww.

MANDY
Could you please put your shirt back on?

AARON
I’ll think about it.

CUT TO:

INT. FIRST FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Meanwhile, the others where attempting to bring the Ninja they had bludgeoned back upstairs.

Linsay and Luke are carrying Ninja up the stairs. Linsay at his head/arms and Luke at his feet.

Linsay almost drops him.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
This task proved more difficult than they had originally anticipated and they had therefore decided to devise a new plan.

LINSAY
This is going nowhere… lets stuff him in a closet instead.

Linsay and Luke move off the stairs, Mina walks up them.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

MANDY
They should have been back by now if the hunt was over.

JAMIE
I know it’s taking a while for some reason.

DAMIAN
That was incredibly obvious.

JAMIE
Your face was incredibly obvious, and that’s NOT a good thing.

The door down the stairs opens, Mina walks up the stairs.

MINA (O.S.)
Greetings all!

AARON
How went the hunt, fair mistress of the forest nymphs?

MINA
The hunt went well, we captured a wild brother.

DAMIAN
Where is he?

MINA
They’re with him downstairs, they should be back soon.

CUT TO:

INT. FIRST FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – FEW MINUTES EARLIER

Linsay and Luke are attempting to shove Ninja into various closets, all of which are too small for him.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
This task too had proved to be more difficult than originally anticipated.

LINSAY
Ah fuck this. I have an idea. Lets head for the door.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
With the body finally disposed of, Linsay and Luke were making their way back to the party on the third floor.

MINA
Look at the TV it’s almost midnight.

AARON
Almost a new year.  So is anyone going to say anything corny?

DAMIAN
If someone does then I’ll have no choice but to kill you.

AARON
Nobody say anything! Please.

MANDY
Don’t kill him, cause then he’ll touch himself in front of us.

AARON
Mandy, come on, I like them lively not dead.  I’m not a necrophilliac.

MANDY
But you are gay.

AARON
I’m not gay.

MANDY
You’re in denial.

AARON
Whatever.

MINA
Come on, how long does it take to stuff someone into a…
(notices people listening)
…nice comfy bed.

UNDEAD NEW YEARS HOST (O.S.)
And the new years is coming soon, just look at that glorious ball.  And that lit up one too!

The door opens, Linsay and Luke walk up the stairs.

MINA
My arresting officer has returned.

Mina and Luke kiss. Luke slides under Mina so she’s sitting on his lap.

Linsay passes out the noisemakers.

DAMIAN
Hey Linsay, where’s your brother?

LINSAY
Oh you know him, probably being all Ninja-like again.

DAMIAN
Ah yeah, probably.

Damian looks around cautiously.

UNDEAD NEW YEARS HOST (O.S.)
And here it comes, the ball is dropping!
(host counts down from 10)

EVERYONE
(counts down from 10)

UNDEAD NEW YEARS HOST (O.S.)
Happy New Year!

Mina and Luke kiss as does Jamie and Linsay.  Aaron stares at Mandy.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And they ushered in the new year with kisses and awkward staring from those that weren’t getting kissed.

AARON
Come on, just one for old times sake?

MANDY
(sighs)
Ok. Lean forward.

Aaron does lean forward towards Mandy.  She slaps him across the face.  Aaron smiles.

AARON
Thank you.  This is going to be a good year.

DAMIAN
Where’s Charlie?

CUT TO:

Footage of Linsay shooting the gun and Charlie running away.

CUT TO:

INT. THIRD FLOOR OF THE BOND HOUSE – PRESENT

CALLY
Damian, I think I’m going to need my clothes back.

DAMIAN
Aww, but I feel pretty in them.

CALLY
Damian.

DAMIAN
Fine, if I must.

Damian and Cally walk over to the closet and enter.

LINSAY
Ok, it’s the new year-

AARON
Your year.

LINSAY
That was such a bad joke… Anyways, it’s the New Year so time to get out.

MINA
Ok, well everyone getting a ride with me, come on.

MANDY
Actually I’m going to need a ride too, my mom just dropped me off.

LINSAY
(realisation)
That’s where my fence went…

NARRATOR (V.O.)
A year earlier her mother had accidentally run over his fence… more than once.

MINA
That’s fine, I have an extra seat now anyways.

Everyone begins to go down the stairs and Cally cuts Aaron off.

AARON
(excited)
Hey Cally.  Are you going to slap me too?

MANDY (O.S.)
Stop being creepy!

CALLY
No, I’m not going to slap you Aaron.

AARON
Then why are you blocking the way?

CALLY
I need my headband back.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE DRIVEWAY – NIGHT

Mina, Damian, Aaron and Mandy are walking towards Mina’s van.

AARON
That was fun.

DAMIAN
You were fun.

AARON
You’ve got to get those I’ll verb your noun sentences under control.

MINA
You really do.

MANDY
They amuse me.

Everyone gets into her van.

CUT TO:

INT. MINA’S VAN – NIGHT

Everyone sits down in their seats, Mina turns the van on and backs out of the parking space.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOND HOUSE – NIGHT

Mina’s van drives down to the end of the driveway and turns left.

CUT TO:

EXT. SANDWICH STREET – NIGHT

Charlie is walking down the road towards home.

CUT TO:

INT. MINA’S VAN – NIGHT

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The party was over and everyone was being sent home.  There would be little incident along the way.

Mina slams on the brakes and Charlie jumps up onto the hood of the van.  Mina stares at Charlie wide-eyed.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
With this one exception.

Ninja pops up from the furthest back seat.

NINJA
(disoriented)
Where am I?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And an accidental kidnapping.

MINA
(angrily yells)
Come On!

FADE OUT:

THE END